Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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