I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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