What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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