Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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