How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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