So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
