i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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