dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
