And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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