i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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