I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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