After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
