i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
me + whiskey = a bad person
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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