I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
