So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize