i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
