awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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