"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize