I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
