It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
