I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
