I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
