Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
