lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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