No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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