Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize