So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
