that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize