You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
