suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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