The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Everclear isn't food dammit
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
