You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
