i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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