p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize