Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I party with great urgency now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
