Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize