I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize