Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
