it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize