The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
