Don't you send me to vm
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
