i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
