its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize