I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
