It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
