His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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