Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
