We're like a lot better than the average bears
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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