I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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