i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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