Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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