You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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