idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
