what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize