I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm getting married
To pizza
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
