We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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