Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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