Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize