take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
