can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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