I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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