some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
