Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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