I look better un-naked...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
