and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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