went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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