i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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