Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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