Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
