They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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