Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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