I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
