Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
