he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he was CRYING into my vagina
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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