I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My balls are so social today.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
